Malia's crazy birth and a bad game of Scrabble

   No one listens to me. It is a talent that I have always had. I can be standing talking face to face with someone and they will turn and walk away while I am talking and they don't even realize it.  When I go to get my hair done I say brown and I get red. This same pattern seems to follow me to the hospital.
   When Grant was born I reminded my doctor that I have super fast births. He nodded and assured me he wouldn't be born for hours. It was less than two. He seemed surprised but I wasn't.  With Malia I had a new doctor and I told him how fast they have all been. He scheduled to induce me and I was happy he listened.
   March 12 we went into the hospital. At 8:00 the doctor broke my water and started a small amount of pitocin. He told us it would be sometime in the afternoon before she would be born. I was skeptical but he was sure I wasn't ready to go anytime soon so he and the anesthesiologist were off to do a c-section. The nurse said not to worry because he is fast at c-sections and he would be back in plenty of time.
   Some time later the anesthesiologist came in and gave me an epidural. I told him I was too slow getting my epidural last time and then it didn't work so he made sure it worked. And it did. Really well. I was impressed. It is so nice to go from pain to nothing.
   Tom and I started playing Scrabble on my phone. It was a horrible game. I was losing by a ton. I had to pause occasionally because my hip started hurting but I mostly ignored it. At about 10:33 I handed Tom the phone for his turn. I thought I felt something touch my leg. I moved the blanket and there was Malia's head. I panicked and possibly screamed, I don't really remember. Tom jumped up and ran into the hall. I don't know what he said but before he came back Malia was out on the bed. She started screaming, which comforted me, and then suddenly the room was full of people. There was the anesthesiologist, his student, tons of nurses, and possibly a janitor. The anesthesiologist took control until the doctor came a minute later. He had been called over to deliver the baby next door.
   The nurse felt bad because she hadn't been paying enough attention. She said next time they would listen. Aside from scaring me near to death it was actually the easiest birth ever. I actually really liked the hospital and everyone there. They were all really nice even if they didn't give us a discount for Malia delivering herself. She is a beautiful little thing and we are happy and blessed to have her. Tom said it was a really dramatic way for me to get out of a bad game of Scrabble.